Mind Tricks

I remember going to surf one day years ago- the surf was very big and few surfers even thought of paddling out; of those few even made it out. I did make it out, and sat on my board intimidated by the size of the surf- but I pushed myself to takeoff on a very big wave. I gave it my all, paddled as hard as I could, and dropped into a 10ft wave which barreled over my head. The feeling was exhilarating! I felt high as a kite all day- like I was a god! I suddenly had enormous amounts of confidence which lasted all week. In fact that day when I made it back to my office, I didn’t even hesitate to call two very important prospects which I had been putting off for a while. I landed a meeting with both of them within an hour!

It’s amazing how your mind plays a role in how you approach unrelated activities throughout the day. Surfing has absolutely nothing to do with Wall Street- but my bravery and success in the ocean provided me with the confidence to make two important prospecting calls later that day. The positive mental attitude was virul, and made my entire work week productive and painless. I somehow exuded a natural confidence that people could see in person, and hear over the phone. I felt like nothing could ruin my week, even if I was rejected by some prospective clients I still had the enthusiasm and confidence to push forward. Yet again, surfing has nothing to do with my business- so how did I let this happen?

Here’s the point- don’t let any BAD experiences during your day ruin any future opportunities, related or not. Having the right positive mindset is necessary to be successful in life. Suppose I had a near drowning experience earlier that day- would I have even made those two important prospect calls? Why would I permit my surfing performance to affect my business? Not only is a positive mindset necessary before you approach an activity, it’s necessary you maintain a positive mental attitude even if you fail, or get rejected. Furthermore, people can absolutely sense your state of mind- your posture, mannerisms, tone of voice, and facial expressions tell a story about your inner harmony, or turmoil. If you expect failure, you will certainly get it.

Ok, so here’s a story relevant to dating specifically. I was in line at a local Cafe and noticed an attractive woman in front of me, however I could tell she was having a bad day: her head was down, eyes down, and she was frowning a lot. Instead of avoiding her, which is what most people would do, I decided to approach her. I saw she was also struggling with the short menu, so with a smile I said: “everything here is great, but if you want something really different, try the “shakshuka”, you’ll love it.” She turned around, smiled, and then asked for more help- but her whole attitude seemed to change. I was offering genuine help as a friendly stranger, and she responded positively. I steered her towards a good recommendation, and we continued our conversation on one of the couches. Generally, others would avoid people who display negativity, or show they’re “closed”- but this proves my point- she was obviously carrying some emotional baggage from earlier in the day with her. Her “closed” signals were rather strong, but they were unintentional. Turns out she was single, even though I’m not- a great opportunity for someone else. How many of you carry this emotional negativity with you throughout the day? Imagine how it might affect other opportunities you’re not even aware of yet!

So don’t let any bad experiences carry over into the rest of your day especially if they have nothing to do with each other. Each experience throughout your day is most likely completely unrelated- so don’t allow your state of mind to create a bridge which could hurt your performance. I suppose there is a chain of causation in life, but don’t fabricate links where there shouldn’t be. Attitude is everything- be positive- people will gravitate to positive energy when they sense it.