The Beach, Wholefoods, and Cafe Ole

If this were Jeopardy, the correct response would be “What are three places I am very comfortable going to meet women?” What are your three places?

It just so happens, I can go to those three places and speak to as many women as I’d like without any hesitation or awkwardness, every time. I have been successful meeting women, and getting first dates almost at will. Why is this? Because these are three places I know very well, and can always drum up something interesting and engaging to talk about when I’m there- especially the beach.

I have no hesitation to talk with anyone on the beach- I feel like it’s “my” turf. Here’s why: I’m an avid year round die hard surfer, I’m a certified freediver with underwater rescue skills, and I spend a lot of time socializing on the beach- I could probably run for Mayor of my local beach and win. In other words, it’s an environment where I have a lot of knowledge, and knowledge breeds Confidence. I can “talk story” to no end about the ocean, or about sea life, or about anything to do with the surf. My stories are funny, entertaining, or exciting because the beach is very familiar ground- nothing I say is contrived, planned or edited. So I don’t fumble or mumble when talking with women; everything I say is said with the utmost confidence, and this is what women are really attracted to: Confidence. I exude Confidence when I’m in the ocean or on the beach, and it shows in the relaxed way I walk, talk, and in my body language. I can approach a woman picking up shells and start a conversation about where to find better shells in a place that most people overlook- it’s that simple- this is how connections begin. I have given numerous surf lessons, so I can easily offer advice to someone having trouble in the water. All the lifeguards know me, and most people recognize me every year as ‘that surfer guy’ who’s always socializing. It’s impossible for me to feel uncomfortable on the beach. I can nonchalantly walk up to the most beautiful woman on the beach and start a very casual, relaxed conversation, without a hitch, while all the other guys cower in fear.

Guys, what I’m trying to tell is that you must reevaluate where it is you’re going to meet women. Confession: I’m not that comfortable trying to connect with women in bars, especially if it’s loud, and saturated with cheesy pickup artists- the women there are on their defense, and rightfully so. I therefore don’t go to bars and clubs to meet women. The last thing women want to hear are the SAME horrible contrived ice breakers and cheesy pick up lines- they’ve heard them all before and then you get thrown into the bin with all the other rejects. Don’t walk up to her and tell her she’s beautiful- she knows this already. If you have to struggle to think about what to say when you’re approaching a woman, it’s likely you’re going to sound like all the others she’s shot down many times before. Be original, say something interesting, say something that comes to you while you’re in the moment- if this sounds hard you might want to think about relocating to another place where you have the confidence to talk nonchalantly, and with confidence.

Think of a number of places where you are comfortable because you are Knowledgeable, or because it is a very familiar place. If you were an Art History major, wouldn’t it be easy to chat with the woman standing next to you at an art exhibit? Of course, and you would sound natural- every word that left your mouth wasn’t edited, it came from your passion, and you said it with confidence- and women love confidence. Women can also smell a poser a mile away. See the difference? So, if you have approach anxiety, start with some places where you are comfortable. Strike up conversations with as many women as possible- you’ll notice how natural your conversations come to you- this is what you want. Learn from this, and think twice before you go somewhere with your friends to “pick up” some women.